Luna Sewerside caught on the toilet for the fourth time this week.

There comes a time in every girl's life when she wants to get inked and pierced to the max and become a Suicide Girl.  The sad thing about it, is the odds of you becoming a real Suicide Girl are extremely low. There's a process you have to go through and Suicide Girls are very picky about who they accept into their family. It's a shame, but it's also a fact.

Sewerside Girls, on the other hand (We have absolutely no association to the REAL Suicide Girls site) will accept almost anyone. The toothless, the amputee, the severe white trash, the un-inked and the beautiful. We'll accept you if you have no self-esteem, are cross eyed, have pimples or large ugly birthmarks. If you hate your dad, (or mom) have unprotected sex with strangers and have more than 3 children out of wedlock. 

APPLY TO SEWERSIDE GIRLS

Requirements

Be 18 years old, be female and be able to prove both.

Have access to (or steal) a good quality digital camera

Send pics often (at least once every month)

Live in a trailer park (preferably in the U.S.)

LOVE the Jerry Springer Show

Send at least 5 good quality photographs of you in your sexiest outfit.  Don't show your dirty parts. If you send in nude pics, they will NOT be published, so the only one who will enjoy them is me.

Please include a short bio, your real name, your Sewerside Girls name, your age, location and the name of your trailer park.

Send your everything

Here's a FAQ for the totally stupid.

1.) Can I join Sewerside Girls if I am a real Suicide Girl?

YES! I've had a couple of real SG ask about this, but have never received photos. Everyone is encouraged to apply.

2.) Why Sewerside Girls?

The domain name was available so I bought it. Duh!

3.) Why the SG hate?

What SG hate? They're a popular website and I am a comedic writer. It's the perfect combination for a parody take off on Suicide Girls.

4.) Does Suicide Girls have a sense of humor? 

I hope so.

5.) What's your ultimate goal with this web site?

To have fun and then sell it to Google for 50 million dollars when it becomes a success.

6.) I'm 5 months pregnant. Can I become a Sewerside Girl?

YES! We encourage both wed and unwed mothers to show off their sexy preggo bods.

7.) What are photo requirements for Sewerside Girls?

Good clear digital photos with absolutely NO text or watermarks, dates, etc. The photos should be sized to 400(w) X 600(h). We prefer portrait photos over landscape.

8.) I have more questions. Who do I ask?

Send your question to the